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  • Writer's pictureRobin Kimbrel Wiggs

Living With Disappointment

Have you ever had one of those periods in your life where nothing worked out like you wanted or planned? One small thing after another and finally you've reached your breaking point. It's often the small things that can wear us down and even though we see ourselves as super-human and 'adult', we all have our limit on how much disappointment we can process and tolerate in a space of time.

And here's the thing, when you have occurrences like this, you brain has a chorus of lived (and made-up) examples to back up what you're experiencing and feeling.

"Oh yes, this really is awful." "uh-un, I knew this would happen." "Hey, remember this time something completely unrelated but felt the same happened?" "No you can't have what you want because.........." "You're just being a baby/brat/selfish/stupid, childish." "You're not good enough for......or You don't deserve."

Your brain, your memory bank, your body, will chime in and affirm any conscious or subconscious thought that drifts through your mind. It's part of our survival mechanism, built-in so we can interpret danger. But, you're not in danger, you're just not getting something you want at the time you want it, right? This doesn't make you a brat or selfish or demanding. It makes you human.

So what do we do in these times of disappointment? Well, we feel it. We acknowledge it. We descend into it. Without becoming one with the feeling there is no way to move beyond it, process it, move forward. For the belief is true "What we resist, persists". This I can attest to personally.

So let yourself feel the feels, all of them. Listen to those voices that want to chime in and kick you while you're down. Then stand up, brush yourself off and say (to those voices), "That is not my truth anymore. I'm just disappointed right now and this is a valid feeling. But I am ok."

It might take a few minutes to gather yourself, maybe even a day, this too is ok. You'll come back and guess what, those voices won't be so quick to jump in next time.


Robin


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