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  • Writer's pictureRobin Kimbrel Wiggs

Once We Learn To Say 'No'

It's kind of been the 'thing' the past few years, learning to say 'no'. Of course the purpose of that movement was to give us all permission to stick up for ourselves, to love and respect ourselves, to start to notice when we were allowing ourselves to be manipulated or used and to work towards putting a stop to that in our lives. The causes of and results of not being able to say 'no' are a rabbit hole we won't dive into today, but the benefit of learning to say 'no' to behaviors and experiences in our lives are exponentially positive. For us personally as well as the other people in our lives.

Often we are born into families that could use a little guidance themselves before they attempt to guide a young person in the world. We all work from our own experiences and without the knowledge or the resources to gain knowledge, (or that there even is knowledge out there) we often repeat our own experiences with our children and in our relationships.

My take on this is that with each generation we come in with new knowledge, new ideas. With that we are able to nurture new ways of being, shift society as well as personal relationships, basically behavioral evolution. It's a really good thing but it can be challenging for those who are compelled to lead the way and break ancestral and familial patterns.

My experience with learning to say 'no' was that at some point I realized I then needed to learn, and allow myself to say 'YES'. Not in the way I used to say 'yes', but in a new way of receiving and allowing the good things offered to me in my life. Things that I actually wanted.

That's right, I had to learn to say 'YES'. As humans we can be so focused in one direction that we miss the whole point of finding balance. You can't say 'NO' to everything! While we learned, as a society (or consciousness), to say 'no' we forgot that the true purpose of that movement was to find balance in our relationships and our lives. We just kept saying 'no'.

Now that you have that little piece mastered (saying no), just say "YES". Say 'yes' to life, 'yes' to experiences, 'yes' to those who ask for your help. Say 'YES' to You. Allow yourself to receive by saying 'YES' to the Universe and all it is waiting to bring you. You have so many blessings just outside your orbit but if you are still in the mindset of 'no' you aren't allowing them to come in.

Let's try this together, stand up and say 'YES'. Go ahead, I'll do it with you. "YES"! Did you notice that feeling in your body? The easing? The loosening of tension? The opening of your heart space?????? For me, not only did I feel my heart space open but there was a releasing in my head, in my brain, that seemed to be held tight in a defensive mode. Can we all say BIZARRO! It's the power of your words, thoughts and beliefs beautiful peeps. These seemingly innocuous, and often secret, things create your reality, they create You.

Say yes to that family member that asks for your help (they can't take from you what you don't give away), say yes to multiple events this week because they are all fabulous! Say yes to your partner when they need you to be there or when they need time alone. Say yes to your kids for some silly thing they never thought you would say yes to.

Most of all, say 'YES' to You. Yes I will allow beautiful and amazing things to filter into my life. Yes I will give to my family and friends. Yes I will notice my parts that need to be seen in my life and my relationships. Yes I will allow myself time to reflect, rest, rejuvenate. 'YES' I love myself enough to be open, to be available, to be seen, to allow, to love life's gifts and "YES I love ME".

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