I Want To Hear You Complain
Well, maybe not complain or whine, but I do want to know what you are feeling and thinking and how I can help.
I was at my Chiropractor recently and a short conversation came up where he mentioned that I do and have always given him my payment before I told him how he could help me.
Before I told him how he could help me……this is the part that got me. As a practitioner myself I could feel this, but as a patient and a human, as Robin…..well I had some resistance to the statement.
Welcome beautiful Soul, my name is Robin and this is an episode of Sacred Moments.
I can’t tell you the number of clients that come to me. Our first greeting is me asking them how they are doing and 99% of them say “oh I’m doing great thank you!” Sometimes I’ll tease a bit and respond “then what are you doing here?” ha!
When I noticed my response to my Chiropractors statement, I realized that even with all the work I had done around this pattern of mine, this pattern of unworthiness, undervalued, not deserving……it still existed in some small way within me.
This inability to ask for help, to reach out. The inability to admit I needed help, or maybe I am flawed if I have pain or discomfort,
I’m not perfect. I need help.
So, what causes this behavior in us? It’s someone or something in our life telling us we are not valuable. We are not as valuable or important as another person or as an event or trauma or just them and their life in general.
We are told to be seen and not heard which right there shuts down your ability and your freedom to express your needs and ask for what you want.
As our needs continue….. because simply not expressing them does not make them go away. As our needs continue and actually compound because they are not being met, we begin to see ourselves as complaining, whiney, needy. We can even become those things as the needs for recognition and relief and support builds.
We start to believe the things that people say about us. And without much help, we even create firm, undeniable negative beliefs about ourselves.
We lose our voice. We lose our ability to ask for help. We even lose the ability to care for ourselves because we now believe we are not worthy of that.
This naturally leads to failure in our lives. Bad jobs, or loosing jobs. Relationships that further validate our unworthiness, and of course, our own self-denial and self-deprecating behaviors and thoughts. Repeating patterns that will continue until we learn to reclaim our voice and our worth.
This inability to express your needs is a black hole. So I ask you today, how do you feel when someone reaches out to you for help?
When someone asks for your attention or your support?
And how do you feel when you are unable to do that? Many people have no problem taking care of themselves. Those of us who were taught or told we don’t deserve the same, can feel resentful, bitter, taken advantage of, victimized. This is because we know that others needs are important, more important than anything. When we can’t perform or supply those needs, we feel bad about ourselves. We have let them down.
Once again, we have failed.
You will become all the above, resentful, bitter, victimized, a failure…..until you realize you are worthy. That You have value and you ARE valued.
You deserve….you deserve to receive, you deserve to be heard, you deserve to feel free to express yourself and your needs. You deserve……..you deserve and you are worthy and you have a unique value to add to this world.
Reclaim your voice and your place in the world. Step forward and be heard. Learn to value yourself. Learn how to take care of yourself and how to ask for support and for help.
Then and only then can you show up as the Divine being you already are, sharing your unique energy and unique gifts with the world.