Each of us, at one time or another, wants to be forgiven. We own up, we ask forgiveness, yet often we can feel the resistance to trust and absolution long after the event has passed. Forgiveness, or the need for, feels very different depending which side of the coin you are on.
True forgiveness can happen only one way, when you quit identifying with the event that caused harm. You have to quit reciting the story and the details of what happened, what was done to you or what you believe was done to you. It's very easy to start to identify ourselves with events, illnesses, lots in life. This type of 'identity' moves us into the role of victim. Yes, there are those who like it there, it becomes who they are, who they present themselves to others to be, who they believe themselves to be. There are many reasons for seeing ourselves this way, attention is one, pity or sympathy. Another is that this person has no self-identity to begin with. They become that event or illness.
In order to truly forgive you must be able and willing to leave behind the event as well as all the emotions and responses that accompany it. To truly be forgiven we must do the same as well as allow and receive the forgiveness.
Know that you deserve to be forgiven, just as another deserves to be forgiven. When we forgive, we aren't letting another "get away with it", instead we are freeing ourselves of that attachment. Of that black hole of bitterness and resentment or even self-righteous indignation. Stop for just a moment and think how much energy it takes to keep resentment or avoidance going. Set yourself free! Let it go. Open yourself to the expansiveness of YOU. Allow your heart and it's innate intelligence to heal and move on. Recognize you are a multi-dimensional being and staying in a place of hurt closes down all of your possibilities. Withholding forgiveness is so 3rd dimension. You, my love, are multi-dimensional. You are of Source, God, the Universe. Open and know there is something greater than you that is holding you, loving you, giving you the grace to forgive and be forgiven.