We’re going to talk about some necessary things today;
The B word
May I ask what was your gut reaction when you heard that?
Did you immediately go ‘ugh’ or did you think ‘heck yes! Boundaries baby!’ Because your response could define how you are able to set boundaries in your life, or not
Boundaries are defined as ‘guidelines and rules that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone steps over those lines’
Boundaries are that thing we can have a love/hate relationship with
If you create boundaries around yourself and your relationships, you run the risk of pissing people off. Of being shamed, or condemned, or abandoned
And if you don’t have boundaries you run the risk of being manipulated, used, abused and developing a strong case of self-hatred and martyrdom
Boundaries are necessary, reasonable and essential to your overall mental, emotional and physical health
We all create different types of boundaries to serve us in our life……There are boundaries we create for others to respect us and our wishes and needs
There are boundaries we create for ourselves and how we interact with the world and others
There may be different boundaries we put in place for different situations or different groups of people, like family or co-workers or partners
You can take it to the bank that the minute you create a boundary, someone is going to test it
It’s human nature
It’s simply up to you to enforce it
Boundaries are essentially about respect, value and love
Someone respects you and values your desires, needs and wants ….or they don’t
You value yourself and honor what you want in your life…… or you don’t
It’s really that simple
If someone (or multiple people) consistently cross your boundaries you’re giving your power away and it’s possible you have an underdeveloped sense of respect for yourself, or maybe you don’t even know what you want in your life
It’s possible you were trained to never set boundaries for yourself, you weren't allowed, so you actually don’t know what you want for yourself and in your life
If you consistently cross another’s boundaries you are playing out your lack of respect, love and honoring for yourself. Often this is a behavior that was taught to you. No one in your circle of growth had boundaries or self-love, so you didn't learn about those very important aspects of living a healthy and safe life
So for today, just notice. Where do you have boundaries, where do you not have boundaries and maybe need to create some.
Where are your boundaries flexible, because there are situations where flexible boundaries are necessary.
And notice particularly where someone consistently crosses a boundary you have set and also where you may consistently cross another’s boundary, or your own boundaries.
I’ll be back to talk more in this later so stay tuned!