Lately I am being shown something about my boundaries. It's not quite clear yet but I do see a connection to old patterns that I thought I had long ago disposed of.
We share the back of our property with an apartment complex. For the most part they're good neighbors, no complaints. During the hail storm a few months ago, several of their fence pickets were torn off, and the gaping hole is still there in my garden area.
While I'm out in my garden area each day tending to my chickens and flowers (where the hole in the fence is), a neighbor dog has repeatedly jumped and torn at the fence that divides our yards. Yesterday the little turd tore the fence pickets loose and there she was, in my garden along with her pack mates heads sticking through the hole. That's when I realized what I was feeling all these months, my boundaries had been crossed, I felt insulted, disrespected and unimportant. It may seem silly but often seemingly benign events like these will bring up our deepest shit.
To top it all off, after many years my Honey decided to rent an office again and move his business out of the house. He'd been down that road before and was very successful until the crash of 2008-2010. So this was a difficult decision for him. Although I had been suggesting (ok, pushing) for this for over a year because I needed some quiet space when I am home, I suddenly felt lonely and abandoned. I really just wanted to throw up my arms and shout "GREAT", here we are again Robin!!!
What I do know is this is all very timely. So many cosmic influences the past few weeks, Mercury Retrograde coming in just now to give us time to review and address where we are and of course the Solar Eclipse coming on Monday. I know we may be tired of hearing about the eclipse, I know I am, but I cannot deny it's importance. These two important thoughts/beliefs of mine do not serve me. In fact they cripple me and I no longer wish to walk this path crippled. I wish to walk this path supported, honored, nourished and loved. Even if it only comes from me, or more importantly that's exactly where it should come from.
Instead of going into a mindset of I'm being encroached upon, or I'm being abandoned, how can I stand up, hold my power and my open heart and meet these feelings and experiences with love, with resolution, with diplomacy.
My experiences are up to me. If I allow these beliefs and behaviors to stay then my path and my experience will be one of struggle. Well, I'm just not having that anymore. If I honor and respect myself, if I make myself feel safe and valued, what does it matter what goes on outside of me? I can meet it. I can move through it. I can be in the same space with it and not be lessened.
This eclipse is a sign for us to meet our shadows. The emotional moon overshadowing the vibrant sun. Those places within ourselves that may or may not serve us. I know that this is a time for me to take whatever part is ready to go, and let it go without fear. Knowing that as I do, the Universe/ Spirit/Source has a beautiful replacement just waiting to come forth.
I will journey on this and have a small but intentional ceremony ready for the event on Monday and I'm going to let nature assist and guide me. Articles from my yard, leaves, pine cones, sticks. These will be the portal and the support to help transmute anything that is no longer mine to hold. It's time.